INHERITANCE OF LOSS

I teach myself everyday
That I am going to be ok.
I teach my heart to laugh along
And sing out a beautiful song.
I teach myself to distance me
From people who can really see into my eyes.

As the picture there is not so great
And may those honest eyes tell
The dam I built will be broken.
And all the hurt will flow through
And what ever I had left would be swept away
By the river of pain.

It’s not much that I ever had
But then it was not much too lose.
But in between I acquired a possession
And that I did choose.
May be not a wise decision
But my heart never learnt that
And lo … I landed in trouble
For what I hadn’t meant to do.

Cause what I chose
I had to give up
And it wasn’t all that pretty.
And it hurt a lot
To let it go
And see that
It too forgot about me.

And those castles built up in air
Seem to mock you so
Those very ones which your heart
Poured into creation.
And when you have to let it go
I feel left with shattered glass
And my heart marred so beautifully
That I don’t know what to believe
Yet as I dwell by the past
And yet find my solace therein.
The scratches on my memory
Confuse me as in to the reality
I don’t know the past is good
Or the present is wise,
But I can’t come to a respite
With the tumult raging within
As bound with duties
I have left a path
And trotting along another.
But still my heart aches
As what I left behind was my life
Something I endear.